Love & Life

Over the last couple of days, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about love and life. I’ve been discussing love and commitment and how hard it is to define. I’ve also been chatting about how precious life is and whether or not we are responsible for other people’s actions and decisions. I feel like we’ve talked about some really important concepts and some possibly helpful insights. I’d hate to forget them, so I’ll immortalize them by putting them here and maybe they’ll help someone else.

Love
What is love? What does it mean to be committed? Is there really a one true love out there for us? At what point do you decide that it’s better for both parties to love someone enough to let them go?


What is love?
Love is putting the other person’s happiness in front of your own. Caring for someone, being there when they need you. Listening to them, doing what’s best for them. And them doing the same for you in return. It’s a give and take where both parties have a mutual respect and fondness for each other. There are different types of love. Love for a friend. Love for your family. Love for your kids. Love for God. Romantic Love. Unconditional Love. Sacrificial Love. Selfless love. Love is many things. It’s different between different people. The love you have for each person is different…Even if it’s the same type of love. Let’s take family love… you may love every member of your family unconditionally, but for each person in your family… your love is different. So, for different people and relationships in your life your love and commitment is different. Its how both parties react to that love is what makes the difference. It’s the willingness and commitment level of each person that defines the love.


What does it mean to be committed?
Commitment is a choice. Love is a choice. Marriage is a choice. It is just choosing to love the same person over and over and over again everyday of your life! Marriage is just an outward symbol to the world of the choice you are making. Whether u put the label on it or not... real love, sacrificial love, unconditional love, selfless love and marriage are all the same to me. It’s a choice to be there through the ups and downs, good and bad, sickness and health. You’re committed to the other person no matter what happens… accept them for who they are, not what you want them to be or what you need them to be. Committed means never wanting to walk away, never wanting to leave, always making the other person a priority, keeping their feelings, thoughts, wants, and needs in mind when living your life.


Is there really a one true love out there for us?
I can’t believe that. What do you say to a woman who gets married and finds the love of her life and then he dies? If she then is lucky enough to find another love of her life and marries someone else. Who is her real one true love? The first one who died? Or the second? If it's the first... Then the did the second man really find his true love? And if it's the second.. Then did the first one really find his true love? I believe that there are a lot of people out there that we are compatible with. But it's up to us to make it work. Love is what you make it, I just can’t believe that there is only ONE out there for us. I mean people can be in love w/ two people at the same time. People are inherently flawed... so, what if you choose the wrong one, but are still happy? Isn’t happiness the key?


At what point do you decide that it’s better for both parties to love someone enough to let them go?
In my experience, its at the point where neither of you is willing to give any more. When you are at an impasse. Where at least one side has given enough and can’t give anymore. When that side believes that the other side will never give more. Or when the two worlds just don’t match anymore. Both parties can change or only one changes and although you still love each other… you are no longer right for each other. They aren’t the person you fell in love it or you aren’t the person they fell in love with. Its not easy on either party, but ultimately it’s what’s best for both of you.


Life
Recently a friend of mine tried to take her life and it’s brought back memories of when my best friend took hers. Now the suicide or attempt doesn’t just affect the person trying to take their life, but it affects the people around them, too. Many questions come up and it’s a hard situation all around and for everyone involved.

What prompts someone to want to take their own life? If someone wants to take their life, is there really anything that you can do? Are there warning signs? And when they make an attempt, is it our fault that we didn’t see them?

What prompts someone to want to take their own life?
I can’t really answer this one. I’ve never been to that place, but I have had friends who have. I also used to volunteer for a hotline for teens. From what people have told me, it’s just a loss of will. It’s like when your having the worst day of your life... everyday over and over again.... and there’s no end in sight. There’s a significant amount of loneliness. Sometimes is like the whole world is out to get you or wanting the entire world to go away. Not wanting to be stuck in the rut and just needing a change. Different people have different reasons, so every situation is different.


If someone wants to take their life, is there really anything that you can do?
The hardest thing is watching someone drown in their own self doubt and not being able to do anything about it. Most of the time the struggle is an internal one. The only thing that anyone can really do is be there if needed. Be a shoulder to lean on. Show support and try to take away the loneliness or depression. A lot of times, there is nothing that anyone can do unless the person gives themselves outs and/or opportunities to for you to help. And in the end it’s hard not to blame yourself, because we all wish we could do something to help…but most of the time unfortunately… there is nothing you can do but give love and support if they want and ask for it. Sometimes forcing the issue just makes things worse.


Are there warning signs?
Of course there are… but it’s hard because everyone is different. Self loathing, self doubt, a loss of faith in themselves, in the people around them. Depression. Talking about death. The loss of someone one or something very important to them... Changes in their behavior, in their life, personality, sleeping, eating, things they want to talk about or don't want to talk about. There are many others.. it just depends on the situation and the person.


And when they make an attempt, is it our fault that we didn’t see them?
No, or at least that’s what I keep telling myself. My head says No, but I know it’s hard not to blame yourself for missing the signs. Your heart always thinks there’s something you could’ve done. I’ve spent years trying to convince myself that it wasn’t my fault…and in my head I know that… but at times the doubt creeps in and I forget that it wasn’t not my fault.. and blame myself for all the things I could've done and didnt' do... I think you'll always feel like there’s something you could’ve done. It’s hard, but try not to blame yourself.

As you can see, these are two very deep and heavy subjects. This is what I’ve been thinking about the last couple of days. Now, I’ve been very sleep deprived over the last couple of days, so I don’t know if any of it makes sense. However, I was told I should put more on my blog than just reviews… so there you have it. I dedicate this entry to all the people I've ever loved, who have ever loved me, or taught me anything about love... and also to all the people who I've lost and are hopefully resting in peace in heaven.

Turkey Burgers are not that healthy!

So, my home girl and I went for our weekly lunch today. We went In-N-Out, because I've been craving a burger lately. However, yesterday I wanted to go to Fat Burger. I was all set cause I wanted a more healthy option... so my plan was going to get a turkey burger. Boy was I mistaken.

I was under the impression that turkey burgers were more healthy that regular burgers... umm well, i was wrong! My home girl and I looked at the nutritional information on the Fat Burger website and found that in almost every category. A 1/3 lb Turkey Burger is worse for you than a 1/3 burger!

Calories: 550 vs. 520
Calories from Fat: 280 vs. 270
Total Fat per serving: 31 vs. 29
Cholesterol: 130 vs. 90
Sodium: 900 vs. 880
Carbohydrate: 38 vs. 32

So, I opted for a Cheese Burger Animal Style from In-N-Out
Calories: 480
Calories from Fat: 240
Total Fat per serving: 27
Cholesterol: 60
Sodium: 1000
Carbohydrate: 39

Ok - so on the sodium side it wasn't a good choice.. but 5/6 ain't bad!

General Hospital Scene 08/05/08

Ok... General Hospital is one of the Soaps that I watch. I had to post this very funny exchange between Maxie, Matt, and Nadine. I was laughing my ass off.

Here's the background story... Nadine suspects Matt of being part of a crime ring that is selling counterfeit drugs at the clinic and hospital. Matt is a renter at the house that Maxie lives in. Matt moved into Maxie's dead sister's room because the owner of the house Mac, Maxie's pseudo dad, wanted to convince Robin to move back in... Instead Robin rented the room to Matt. Nikolas is Nadine and Matt's boss. In an attempt to annoy Matt, Maxie stole his garage opener, so he couldn't get his car out. She lied about taking it. So, Maxie and Matt HATE each other, which is so funny because the two actors used to play Shawn and Belle on Days of Our Lives (yes, I watch that too.)

ok... here we go.

Maxie knocks on the door... Matt opens the door after taking a shower (little does he know that Nadine is hiding behind a chair in the room after trying to snoop in his room)

Maxie: Did I not make myself clear the first 57 times I told you... you are not welcome to help yourself to my food?
Matt: Well, if you didn't take my garage door opener, then I didn't take your cheese enchilada. So, now that you've had the pleasure of seeing me naked...again... I'll see you later.
Maxie: Why would it matter if I've seen you next to naked? Nothing about you is impressive.
Nadine giggles behind the chair.

Maxie enters the room.
Maxie: I mean, nobody really wants you here... so why don't you just move out?
Matt: It's not going to happen.
Maxie: You know Mac fixed up this room for Robin...not some total obnoxious stranger off the street you're taking advantage of a small misunderstanding and a very hurtful situation.
Matt: Mac signed the rental agreement
Maxie: He's the police commissioner. He's got a lot of stuff going on.
Matt: I'm not interested in his mental state at the time that he signed it. Its legal and binding. As long as I follow the rules, no one can kick me out. Especially some brat who looks for an excuse to just get all up in my face.
Your a doctor. You should be able to afford you're own house or at least rent an apartment!
Matt: I have a lot of student loans. Ok! So now if you can just tear yourself away for a moment.
Maxie: Give it up.
Matt: What?
Maxie: Both of you. I know what is going on here.
Matt: Are you having some sort of episode or something
Maxie: You are so busted. come here.
Maxie pulls Nadine from her hiding place. Matt is shocked.


Matt: Why are you hiding in my bedroom?
Nadine: Uh. I don't know why that would be so hard to figure out?
Maxie: As if you didn't know she was here.
Matt: I didn't
Maxie: Oh the rental agreement said no overnight visitors and that includes during the day hook-ups
Matt: Is that is what is going on here? You two are working together. You two set me up?
Nadine: She didn't
Maxie: No, I didn't
Nadine: Its the spaghetti.
Matt: The what?
Nadine: Ya, the pacetti or the fuselodge? Whatever I spilled on you...the night at dinner.
Maxie: Dinner! See you guys are dating! I knew it!
Matt: It wasn't a date.
Nadine: No, it was an accident. Not the dinner. The pasta. And I feel really bad because I know money is a really big issue for you right now. And I ruined that shirt and I wanted to replace it.
Matt: You broke in here to give me a shirt.
Nadine: Ya.
Maxie: So where is it? Where's the shirt?
Nadine: I don't have it. I needed to check the size.
Maxie: Could you help her out... she's the like worst liar I've ever heard?
Matt: I didn't even know she was in here, ok? I swear!
(here comes my favorite line)
Maxie: Why don't you just admit it? You left work early for my cheese enchilada and a quickie!
Matt: That's ridiculous. Those two do not go together!
Nadine: I don't even like enchiladas.
Maxie: Why else would you be home during the day? You know I hope Nikolas doesn't find out about this. He's going to be really disappointed.
Nadine: You know what you can tell Nikolas whatever you want. Ok! I don't have to listen to any of this!
Nadine leaves the room.
Maxie: Well, I hope your little bootie call was enjoyable, because it's about to get you evicted!
Maxie leaves the room.

HAHA... omg seriously. I was laughing so hard. I had to blog about it to remember it!

Of Equal Measure

On Tuesday 22 July 2008 I went to see Of Equal Measure at the Kirk Douglas Theater. This was a play about America during Woodrow Wilson's Presidency as seen through the eyes of an African American woman stenographer, Jade Kingston, in the White House. The play dealt with President Wilson's hypocrisy on the issue of racism. He set out to make the world safe for democracy by bringing the US into WWI, while allowing segregation of African American federal employees and imprisoning people that didn't agree with the war. Other side plots included an affair that involved Jade Kingston and her boss, the creepy White House advisor Edward Christianson, the treatment of so called "hyphonates", and Jade's brother's experience as a black man in America at that time.

This brand new play by Tanya Barfield was very very good. Most times I go to plays and I'm really bored cause there's no music. =) Sorry, I can't help that I prefer musicals... that's just me. The best thing about my experience was staying after the play to discuss it with some audience members and members of the cast.

The acting by Micheal T. Weiss (best known as Jarod on that show The Pretender) as the creepy Edward Christianson was phenomenal. Every time he opened his mouth and looked at Jade in that sexual way I got the chills. Then without skipping a beat, when another person entered the room, he was cold as ice. Most of the critics hated this play, but after seeing it I can't understand why. Why do people go to plays? To get lost in a story and to be entertained... and if its a historical fiction... the play is supposed to make you doubt the truth and question what all of history books say. This play does just that. Was I transported back in time to the early 1900s?? Yes. Was I entertained? Yes. Did it make me question what I learned in high school about Woodrow Wilson's Presidency? Yes. I actually looked up more about that time period.

I give Of Equal Measure
3 Stars. I think most people would like this play. It didn't do enough to get 4 Stars because of the subject matter. Some people might feel offended or feel that the playwright took too many liberties with Christianson's and Jade Kingston's characters. Because this is a historical fiction, some people might dislike the fact that the playwright shows a nasty side of President Wilson, when in our history books he's revered for creating the League of Nations. I would equate this historical fiction along the lines of The Da Vinci Code. If you liked that book and/or movie... you'd probably like this play. I feel that the acting in this play made it. I fear that if this play ever ran again, it might not be as good with a different cast.