If It Makes You…

Happy

It can't be that bad
If it makes you happy
Then why the hell are you so sad

Act 29:

“It’s never too late… To Let Yourself Be Happy

Be sad when you must. Grieve when you must. But don’t be sad just because others expect it of you. Take charge of your own happiness. We are all entitled to be happy. Seek light instead of shadows. Treasure your happiness. Share it.” – Patrick Lindsay

Quote in book: “We don’t remember days or years, we remember moments” ~ Anonymous

This one is very personal to me and it really goes well with what I was going through (still going through) at the moment. I’ve blogged about the fact my father passed away almost 5 months ago. So reading the words Mr. Lindsay wrote just hit home. After my father died, I had a really hard time letting myself be happy. There was all this guilt. How could I be happy, when my dad is no longer around? How can I let myself feel joy when I SHOULD be sad? I knew my dad would not want me to feel this way, but I did. I felt guilty. What is it they call it? Survior’s remorse? Survor’s guilt? I was depressed, but I didn’t really know it. I was numb. I just didn’t really allow myself to feel anything. So, I wasn’t feeling sadness, but I also wasn’t feeling joy or happiness. Yes, I was mourning. Yes, I was experiencing the so called 5 stages of grief. My problem is that I really didn’t experience them in the right order. From what I’ve read the five stages are

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

Back in November of 2010, my dad really took a turn for the worse and ended up in the hospital never to return home again. I didn’t really go through the denial stage – probably cause this was more for my dad than me. When we found out he had cancer, we just thought he was going to fight it. When my mom called me in Jan to tell me that his cancer was terminal… there was no denial stage, because I had feared it was coming. In December, I remember going through the bargaining stage. I prayed that he would make it to the next XMAS, but that didn’t happen. Over the months following his death, I went back and forth between anger and depression. More depression than anger. It just didn’t seem fair. Here was a man that had really NO vices except for eating ice cream (he was lactose intolerant). He didn’t drink (only later in life). He didn’t smoke. He was very healthy there towards the end, running and working out on his treadmill. He didn’t do drugs. He ate fairly healthy. He did everything the doctors tell you to do. Yet, he died 3 weeks shy of his 61^st birthday. It wasn’t fair. I know someone who smokes 1 pack of cigarettes a day and they’re 70!

I didn’t “really” get to the acceptance stage until about a month ago. I mean I accepted it, I was able to get up in the mornings and throw myself into work, but I wasn’t really living. I was just eating, sleeping, and working. Then, I got involved with Kat and the Face2Face community. It was like I flipped a switch and I let myself feel again. I let myself be happy. And all the stories out there of people who feel they are alone and are going through so much, just made me feel stupid for wallowing in my own sadness. I wasn't alone. I had my family. My health was pretty good. Why be sad or depressed? So, I let Kat’s positive energy in. I started to FEEL again. I didn’t allow myself to feel guilty for being happy. I embraced the happy feelings cause I know that’s what my dad would’ve wanted for me. To be Happy. To be a contributing member of society. To be more positive. To be more accepting. To honor him.

So, I gotta say. I have been more happy this last month. Because I let myself be happy. I pushed away all the guilt and just became happy. Today is my 29^th blog. Blogging has also made me happy. I didn’t think that writing down my thoughts and feelings on a topic would make me feel so great, but it has. I’ve reconnected with a lot of people, since I’ve started this. I’ve found out that it’s not just my mom and my cousin reading! I have a bunch of people who are reading every once in a while. I love it. Let me know you’re out there. I love hearing that you are reading. It makes me happy to know that I’m not just talking to the ether! Shout out to E.Viscarra who told me that she reads!

When I saw this act, I immediately thought that this one goes hand in hand w/ the “Listen To Your Heart” blog. I think I even said in that blog that listening to your heart makes you happy. So, listen to your heart, let yourself be happy. Go do something that makes you happy. Don’t let work, stress, familial obligations, society pressures, or death get in the way. Find a way to make it work. As long as your happiness does not infringe on someone else’s happiness, then I’m all for it. Two days ago, the blog was about helping someone. So, if there’s anything I can do to help you be happy. Just ask. Helping my family and friends makes me happy. So you’ll be making two people happy by just asking! Have a wonderful day/night. Be Happy!

Trivia time – I’m gonna warn you. Some of these are gonna be hard, cause these are some really great songs, but they were never released and they are just album songs, so I’ll give you the titles and some hints. Although you should all get the first one.

10 Points: Name the artist who sings the song at the beginning of the blog

10 Points: Name the duo who sings Happy Ending, below (Hint: It’s a duo who is the current reigning Top Country Duo at the CMAs and ACMs)

Cowboys ride into sunsets
The good guy always gets the girl
Cinderella's just fit
The glass slipper that changed her world
We all know the stories
We all know the fairytales
We all get the glory
Of making it for ourselves

From the beginning
We're all looking for a happy ending
Every dream of winning
Every love we've been in
Right from the beginning
We're looking for
A happy ending

10 Points: Name the artist who sings To Be Happy, below (Hint: One of her famous songs is Born To Fly. She was also on the 3^rd season of Dancing With the Stars, but quit half way through).

If I had one wish
I would wish for two
For me and you
To be happy

With the way things are
Sometimes it gets hard
But we've come so far
To be happy

Yeah i dont think that im complaining
Sometimes it keeps on raining
Oh but dont be frightened by thunder and lightning
The sun comes out and the flowers grow
And you find you're already on the road
To be happy

If I had one prayer
To pull out of thin air
Everyone, everywhere,
Would be happy

10 Points: Name this Vegas headliner who sings Make You Happy, below (Hint: This song is on her “Falling Into You” album which has sold 32 Million copies worldwide)

No more sadness
I wanna be the one to make you happy
I wanna be the one to give you hope
But in these days of conscious living
We've got to take it slow
You can't be sure of who you've met
You just don't know what you might get
Cause in these crazy times we're living
Love can turn into regret

But you, could be the one to change my point of view
It's all up to you, , ,

Give you love without the pain
Show you light beyond the rain
Gonna make you happy
Gonna make you happy now
There'll be days when things go wrong
I'll be there to make you strong
Gonna make you happy
Gonna make you happy

10 Points: Name the two characters on GLEE who sing a Mash-Up of Get Happy / Happy Days Are Here Again and name the original artists of the songs.

Forget your troubles (Happy days)
Come on get happy (Are here again)
You better chase all your cares away (The skies above are clear again)
Shout Hallelujah (So let's sing a song)
Come on get happy (Of cheer again)
Get ready for the Judgment Day (Happy days are here again)

The sun is shining
Come on get happy (Shout it now)
The Lord is waiting to take your hand (There's no one who can doubt it now)
Shout Hallelujah (So let's tell the world)
And just get happy (About it now)
We're going to the Promised Land (Happy days are here again)

We're heading cross a river
Soon your cares will all be gone
(There'll be no more from now on)
From now on!

Forget your troubles (Happy days)
And just get happy (Are here again)
You better chase all your blues away (The skies above are clear again)
Shout Hallelujah (So let's sing a song)
And just get happy (Of cheer again)
(Happy times) Happy times
(Happy nights) Happy nights
Happy days are here again...