Show Some Initiative

Act 77:

“It’s never too late… To Be A Self-Starter

Think of the freedom. The empowerment. The possibilities. Chart your own course. Don’t wait. Don’t react. Decide your aims. Act.” – Patrick Lindsay

Quote in book: “No one knows what he can do until he tries.” ~ Publilius Syrus

According to thefreedictionary.com… Self Starter: One who displays an unusual amount of initiative. Or a person who is strongly motivated and shows initiative, esp at work. By these definitions, I’m a self-starter. I didn’t really think that when I first read this Act, because in my life I’m not really a self-starter. I’m self-sufficient, which isn’t exactly the same. However, after reading the definition, now have something I can write about.

At work, I’m strongly motivated. I’m really assertive and do take a lot of initiative. I’m pretty sure these are the reasons I’ve been so successful at work. I’ve mentioned that I’ve recently gotten a couple of awards and a raise… so I must be doing something right. The leadership at my company must be liking the self-starter in me.

I consulted The ORACLE and found some good advice about how to be a self starter from families.com. My comments are italized.

Self-Starters Find Work To Do A self-starter doesn't have to be told to work. You won't ever find this type of person standing around waiting for an assignment. Instead, this person will look around and find something that needs to be done. Their job may be as a cashier, but if there is a display that needs straightening or a floor that needs sweeping, they'll do it. This is valuable to an employer because they really don't have time to chase their employees around to make sure that they are working. A self-starter assumes that if they are being paid, they should be doing something at all times. This is soo me. I definitely find work to do and I know it’s one of the things that my boss loves about me.

Self-Starters Take Responsibility A self-starter realizes that it is their responsibility to help the company run smoothly. Whether they are the lowest clerk or the highest executive, a self-starter knows that their part in the company is vital to helping everything run smoothly. My company places a lot of importance on company unity and teamwork. So, even more so w/ this company that with my previous company... I do very much try to do my part and play my role w/in the company to make it a great place to work and to help make it successful.

Self-Starters Feel Ownership Even if it is the self-starter's job to empty the garbage, he or she takes ownership of their job and of the business where they work. A self-starter understands that for that moment, they ARE the business. When they perform their work they are the face of the business, and that matters - both to their employer and to the customer. My work environment is customer oriented and I also try to do my best to not embarrass myself or my company. I always try to keep my reputation and the company’s reputation in the back of my mind.

Self-Starters Finish Self-starters don't stop a task half of the way through. Instead, they follow through to the end. A true self-starter knows that their part is not over until the job is finished. I am a closer. Lately, I’ve been working w/ someone who is not what my customer calls “A Closer”. But I definitely am. I always like to finish whatever I start. The hardest thing about my job is that a lot of times you personally can’t finish what you start. I have to delegate and move on to the next and trust it will get done right. However, I do always make sure that it’s getting completed and done right (even if the one I delegated the task to doesn’t like me looking over their shoulder. Haha)

Are you a self-starter? If not, do these little tips help? If you think you are, do you think these little tips are accurate? What else would you add? So, go out there and show some initiative. Be a self-starter. You can do it. I’m cheering you on!

Healthy Relationships Need Both People To…

Act 76:

“It’s never too late… To Compromise

Things are rarely black or white. Most lie somewhere in the grey centre. There are other views. Or Other ways of achieving consensus. Think about what you hope to achieve. The pat to it may not be direct. You may have to surrender ground to progress. Keep your goal in mind. Adapt your means to suit the circumstances.” – Patrick Lindsay

Quote in book: “It doesn’t matter whether it’s a black car or a white cat as long as it catches the mouse.” ~ Deng Xiao Ping

Every relationship requires some sort of compromise at one point or another. Along those same lines each person in the relationship needs to compromise at one point or another. If the relationship is one sided, then maybe it isn’t the healthiest relationship and you need to reevaluate. That goes for both parties. If you’re the one who always compromises.. why are you doing that? You need to stand up for your beliefs every once in a while. Your opinion matters. If you’re the one who always gets what you want… let your partner have one every once in awhile. You don’t want to breed resentment. Besides every once in a while we all need a “win”.

Compromising is sometimes hard for me, because I’m a control freak and because I don’t like to lose. Although, I’m working really hard to be a lot better at this. My boss always tells me at work to “pick my battles.” This advice has really helped my ability to compromise in my personal life as well. It’s not worth fighting all the time. It’s not worth “winning” and my relationships are stronger now that I’m compromising more. I’m finding more and more that I’m trying to be more laid back. Trying to let others take charge and go with the flow a little bit more. I’m finding happiness in just being a follower. Compromising. Not being the decision maker. Not “winning” all the time. Compromise isn’t winning or losing. It’s make a joint decision that kinda benefits everyone.

Although happiness is not always achieved when compromising. I’ve found at work… That when trying to get a good technical solution…If everyone in the room is unhappy (because they had to compromise) then it’s probably a good solution. Over the next couple of weeks, I’m gonna have to defend 10 years worth of work (15 if you count the work done before I got there). I’m gonna probably have to compromise capabilities and some requirements, because we are trying to save our program. Apparently, there are budgetary issues and since the contractors are sucking us dry, we’re gonna have to give up some complexity, flexibility, and maybe even some capabilities to get us on schedule and on budget. This will be a good test of my ability to compromise at work. Wish me luck. Btw – I think it’s very interesting that I got this Act on this particular weekend, just when I’m about to do a whole bunch of compromising. It amazes me how in tune these acts are to my life.

Before I go… I’ll leave you with this article “How to Compromise in a Relationship” from ehow.com. It’s basically what goes through my head now when I’m faced with having to compromise on any issue.

1. Set emotions aside. When seeking to compromise on an issue in a relationship, the first thing you must do is leave emotions out of the conversation. You need to be able to logically look at the situation and think about what you need instead of what you want.
2. Weigh the pros and cons of the situation. When you are in a situation that calls for compromise, each person is seeking the opposite solution. Each person needs to write down the pros and cons of what they want, and then they need to compare their list to the list of the other person. This will help you measure the goals that you have in common and perhaps help you to find a middle ground.
3. Remember to think of yourself as a couple and not as individuals. The most stubborn people fail to think of the couple as a unit, but as two individuals. You will never be able to compromise if you are only thinking about yourself.
4. Pick your battles. There will be times when you feel so strongly about a topic that you do not want to compromise. If you are willing to compromise 99 percent of the time, those times when you feel too strong to budge on a issue, your spouse may be more willing to give in.
5. Be happy with the outcome and don’t linger on what you may have “lost.” Compromise is not a game of winning and losing. It is a win-win situation. You are doing what is best for you as a couple and it will be beneficial to your future. Once the decision in made, let go of any emotions that may cause you to be unhappy with the decision.

Thoughts???

Don’t Pussy Foot Around…

Act 75:

“It’s never too late… To Say What You Mean

It’s simpler. It’s more honest. It avoids confusion. People respect you when they know where you stand. It may be tempting to beat about the bush, hoping to avoid confrontation, or to avoid causing offence. But when you truly believe something. Say it clearly. Stand by it.” – Patrick Lindsay

Quote in book: “The greatest homage we can pay to truth is to use it.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Say what you mean and mean what you say. Don’t leave your listener confused. Say your words w/ conviction, otherwise… just don’t say them. I mean , really? What’s the point of saying something if it’s complete BS and you don’t mean it. It’s ok to be quiet. It’s ok not to comment. I think I’d rather someone not say anything instead of tell me a bunch of lies and/or not be sincere. It’s also ok to think about what you say before you say it.

As an introvert, I have to think about what I say before I say it. But when I do say something, I mean it. I don’t usually pull punches. I don’t beat around the bush. I’m really honest. Sometimes to my own determent. I think the only time I don’t really mean what I say is when I say something in anger or when I’m cussing someone out. In general, I’m not a mean person, but when I’m pissed I can be really vindictive, hurtful, and super super mean. However, over the years, I’ve learned to control my temper a lot better than I used to and the only thing in my life that pisses me off right now is work and stupid people at work… Volde, I’m talking about you right now!!! Grr. Argh! I’d say some stuff right now, but I don’t really mean it… so I’ll just stay quiet.

I think that the three words that are said the most and not meant the most are probably “I Love You”. Followed closely by … “No. You don’t look fat”, “It happens to every guy”, “Size doesn’t matter” Haha. I couldn’t help it… I had to go there. Hehe =)

I think a lot of people are “pressured” to say “I love you” in a relationship once the other person says it. That’s so wrong. I’d rather wait to hear those three little words (or big in this case), than to have someone say them to me and not mean it. Cause I mean what I say, so I expect you to do the same. Don’t tell me lies or half-truths to spare my feelings. I’d rather you stay quiet, than be insincere. I hate fake people and I hate fake feelings. It’s just so irritating.

As I said in my “I Love You” blog, I do say I love you a lot. I’m a really affectionate person. But when I say it, I really mean it. I know there are some people out there that really can’t say or have a hard time w/ saying it. But that’s ok. That means when they do say it, it’s really really special. I’m lucky I grew up in a family that say I love you all the time. I think that’s why I’m so affectionate w/ other people. Because at the end of the day, I know I’m loved. I hope all of you out there know that I love you. You all mean the world to me.

I think the world would be a better place if we said what we mean more often. I’m not naïve enough to think that we can do it all the time, because sometimes and just sometimes lying to protect the other person’s feelings is the best course of action. However, in general, I support honesty, truth, and sincerity. So, honestly…It’s Day 75 of my blogging adventure. How do you think I’m doing so far? Am I rambling too much? Do you like the trivias? Do you want more? Less? Any other suggestions? I’m open to it. I do these for you as much as I do them for myself… so any improvements or suggestions would be very much appreciated. Just remember, I’d rather y’all be silent than tell me you love my blog and not really mean it… Love you all. Have a great and wonderful Day!!