Break All Ties

Act 66:

“It’s never too late… To Cut Your Loses

All things have a natural end: stories, relationships, lives, investments. The trick is recognizing the end. And accepting it. How sad are champions playing past their time, a love gone sour, or a life without purpose.” – Patrick Lindsay

Quote in book: “Know when to hold’em, know when to fold’em” ~ Anonymous

One of the hardest things in life is to know when to throw in the towel and cut your losses, especially when it comes to relationships. For the most part, I have a hard time with this. The only time I don’t is when the other person scorns me in some way and usually it has to have happened multiple times. I have the ability and capacity to forgive and I can forgive a lot, but I do have a limit. When I reach that limit, it’s very easy to cut my losses and end the relationship.

However, it does take a lot for me to get to that point, so in general… it’s really hard for me to know when the right time to let go is. I don’t like cutting people out of my life, because I know people make mistakes and that most everyone deserves to be forgiven, especially when they are sorry. I had a whole blog on my thoughts on this subject.

As of this moment, I can only think of one person I cut out of my life. There are at least two other people who cut me out of their lives. One broke my heart and the other it was mutual at the time because we had a fight, but I can’t even remember what we fought about at this point. For the two that cut me out of their lives… I still think about them from time to time and wonder if they are ok and/or what they’re doing. I do kinda keep tabs on them, because some of my friends are still friends w/ them. However, they both seem happy and it seems they are happier w/out me in their life and that’s ok. I suppose that’s all I ever wanted for them, so I’m totally ok with that.

As for the person who I cut out of my life… for all intents and purposes, if I never see them again it’ll be too soon. Unfortunately, I know I’ll probably see them in hell and I know it’s inevitable to see them in this life, but I can avoid it as much as possible. I know at times I’m a fiery and bitchy person and a lot of times my rage is not deserved, but in this person’s case my rage and anger is well justified. I haven’t really dealt w/ all that was done to me and my family, because I pushed it all to the depths of my mind. However, recently I told someone about the reason why I cut this person out of my life and it brought back a lot of old feelings and new feelings and memories that I never knew I had. I know I need to work through my anger, but even if I do. I know I won’t be letting this person back into my life. I may be able to let go of my anger, but I’m not stupid enough to let this person back into my life. It’s not worth it. It’s a lost cause. I’m better off without this person in my life and so is the rest of my family.

Like I said, I don’t really like cutting people out of my life, so I don’t do it unless they are really really deserving. For the most part, I’ve stayed friends with all of my exs except for one. (They are one of the two that cut me out of their life). You have to really do something bad to make me hate you enough to cut you out of my life. I usually feel that people are worth it. People deserve a second, a third, and maybe even a fourth chance. As I said in my other blog, it’s all about intent. If someone is trying to hurt you, then you need to cut your losses and cut them out. If they don’t mean it, but end up hurting you anyway, that’s when you really need to think about it. Most of the time, you can lessen the amount of time you spend with each other and it makes things better. There’s a big difference between cutting someone out outright and just getting some space. There’s also a difference between cutting someone out of your life and growing apart.

It pains me to say that there are a ton of people that are no longer in my life because we just drifted apart. However, if they ever needed me, I’d be there for them and I’m pretty sure they know that. Luckily, with the invention of facebook, email, txts, skype, video chats, chat rooms…. It’s a lot easier to keep in touch w/ people even if you don’t see them all the time. So even just changing your interaction w/ someone can change your relationship w/out having to cut them out of your life. Maybe they just annoy you after 20 mins, but you still love it when they send you random txts or emails.

I don’t really have a lot of advice if you’re looking to cut your losses, because I only do it when I have HATE in my heart. That’s’ very rare and I’ve only done it once. I’m usually very kind and forgiving. However, I will say this. Only you know what’s right for you. It’s your decision. Your friends and family can help, but ultimately, you have to live w/ your decision. So if you’re unsure maybe try something less permanent to test the waters. Here’s the other thing I want to say. Don’t ever let someone make you feel less than you are. Don’t ever let someone cut down and make you feel worthless. Don't ever let someone hurt you and stay silent about it. Don’t ever let someone make you feel like you aren’t loveable or aren’t worth being loved. You are. I love you. I care about you. So, if someone makes you feel like that… CUT YOUR LOSSES and RUN! (but not before you tell me who it is, so I can KICK THEIR ASS!!)