Everybody Makes Them

Act 58:

“It’s never too late… To Learn From Mistakes

Take a wider view. Look at the patterns in your life. If there are recurring problems maybe there are recurring mistakes. Mistakes don’t always look the same. Look carefully. Find the pattern. Change your behavior. Learn.” – Patrick Lindsay

Quote in book: “Experience is the mother of wisdom.” ~ Proverb

We all make them. Most of us are afraid of making them, but if we learn from them… it makes our lives better. I try as much as possible to not make mistakes (because I’m a perfectionist)… however, when I do make them…I try not to waste the experience and learn from it. I’m not always successful at learning from my mistakes and I end up repeating them... which is the worst feeling in the world....knowing that you are making the same mistake over and over again and you are either to powerless or too stupid to stop it from happening.

For me, the mistake that I keep repeating is not being able to manage my expectations of other people. I’m the type of person who gives of themselves completely and loves wholeheartedly. There are times when I connect so intensely with someone (or feel like I do) that I feel like we were “meant” to be in each other’s lives. And inevitably, I just end up getting hurt because they either don’t feel the same way or because I had unrealistic expectations of how I thought they should act/feel towards me. I’m not even talking about a romantic relationship… I’m just talking about the friends (or previous friends) in my life. I think that I give so much of myself, that I almost expect the other person to feel the same way i do and/or treat me the way I treat them.

The lesson that I have to keep trying to teach myself is that … not everyone feels as intensely as me or gives of themself so freely. So, I either have to manage my expectations better or I have to not be as intense w/ people I just meet. My bro tells me I’m just addicted to love. He also says that I have an obsessive personality. And it scares him because when I meet someone that I connect with so intensely that he is always so afraid I’m gonna get hurt. Apparently, when I get like that I just obsess over the other person to the point that it either scares them away or they do something to hurt me just to get some space from me.

So the thing I have to learn is to protect my heart better. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to stop being so intense. I think it’s a good thing to have the capacity to love and feel that passionately. I think what I have to do is to manage those expectations of others better. Don’t expect them to love me the same way. Don’t expect them to do the things for me that I do for them. Don’t expect them to react to me in a certain way. I just need to lower my expectations and just… Be ok w/ the fact that I may be the only one that feels that way. Be ok with the fact that I love them more than they love me. Be ok with the fact that they may not love me at all…

That’s the mistake that I make most often. It’s happened more times than I can count or would've liked. I’ve lost so many friends because I was just too intense or just didn’t get the love back that I expected. However, I’m getting better at it. The last time I connected w/ someone so intensely, we of course fought and I got hurt… but instead of losing them completely… I learned to change my expectations and just accept them for what they could give me… not what I wanted them to give me. I’m happy to say that instead of losing their friendship… we are still friends today and they are still one of the closest people to me.

What mistake do you keep repeating? What can you do to remedy the situation? I think we should all try to learn from our mistakes. We will be better people for it. And try not to be afraid of making mistakes… “To err is human” Making mistakes is what makes us human. We wouldn’t be who we are today, if we didn’t make those mistakes and we didn’t learn from them… I love all of you. Mistakes and all. =)

Mini TRIVIA

10 Points: Name the artist and song of the lyrics below

I woke up and called this morning
The tone of your voice was a warning
That you don't care for me anymore

I made up the bed we sleep in
I looked at the clock when you creep in
It's six AM and I'm alone

Did you know when you go it's the perfect ending
To the bad day I was just beginning
When you go all I know is

10 Points: Name the artist and song of the lyrics below

What do you think inside your head
I wanna know
Don't you think that this could end up, breaking you

Your life is a time bomb set to explode
You talk out your ass and everyone knows
For once you should listen and care what I think
Or I'll be gone before you can blink

Everyone's told you, over and over again