Keep Your Opinions To Yourself

Act 51:

“It’s never too late… To Mind Your Own Business

Grant others the same privacy you want yourself. Resist the temptation to pry. Use your energy positively – you’ll be surprised how satisfying that is. if they want you to know, they’ll tell you themselves. Often ignorance really is bliss – especially when gossip is so often wrong anyway. Give respect. And you’ll get it in return. ” – Patrick Lindsay

Quote in book: “At every word a reputation dies.” ~ Alexander Pope, The Rape of the Lock

As a kid they teach you… if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. What they also need to teach you is…if nobody asked your advice, maybe it’s best to keep your opinions to yourself. I’ve had to learn this lesson over and over. I am definitely a Know-It-All and I know it’s freaking annoying to other people. I’m working on this. I have been told a bunch of times to “mind my own business”

Here’s a caveat to the rule I stated above.. It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. What I’ve found is that most of time it’s not what I’m saying that people are offended by, it’s how I say it to them. I do have that arrogant, annoyed “wow you’re really stupid” tone of voice. This is what usually gets me in trouble. Again, I’m working on it. I find that if I change my tone of voice, people actually figure out I’m trying to help them and are more susceptible to accepting the help.

The other thing I’ve learned is that you can’t make someone accept your help. They have to be open to it. If they aren’t, then you do really need to mind your own business. It’ll only cause anger on both sides. Although, what gets me in trouble the most is that I’m all about efficiency. If I have the solution, I just want to say... “here it is. I’ll save you time” But that’s usually taken as “here dumbass, since ur too stupid to get the answer on your own…let me do if for you...” Then I get the “um bitch back the hell off… I can do it myself” look or not so nice words. It’s not that I’m “wrong”….because I am usually right. It’s just that people hate to be one-upped or hate to feel stupid (I know I do). I usually just logic them to death about whatever it is and get to the answer before they do. For them it’s like “hmm, why the hell didn’t I think of that.” So, that’s another thing I’m working on. Just letting the person get it on their own. Take about 10 breathes to allow the other person to figure it out for themselves and they either get it or look at me, with the “ok I give up… give me the answer” look.

It took me a long time to realize that I just process things in my head (logically) a lot faster than most people (at least the people I work with for sure), so I have to slow down and let them catch up. I’ve been a systems engineer for almost 10 years now (and I’m really good at puzzles). Being able to quickly think on my feet is what makes me soo good at my job (at least that’s what I think). However, that also works in the other direction, too. If I don’t understand something, it takes me a really long time to figure it out. It's like if I can't get it right away there's like a mental block or something.

So - today the verdict on the Casey Anthony trial came out. I shouldn't even be wasting precious blog space on this topic, but I'm only going to for 2 reasons.

1) It goes along w/ this theme. I was really really bothered today about the "outrage" from people about the Not Guilty verdict. People... just mind your own business! Seriously, I can not believe how many people are sooo upset about this thing. Most of you didn't watch much of the trial and only listened to idiots like Nancy Grace (i bet she popped at least three veins today) and listened to the completely biased media. I didn't watch much of the trial, but here's what I do know....the prosecution flat out said they weren't sure how Caylee died. If that's true, how can you say it was murder? I don’t know enough about the case to say that she did it, but there wasn't enough evidence to prove that she did it "without reasonable doubt". That's the law people. Now, was there foul play... Of course! Was it horrific because she lied about the kidnapping, Yes. But I believe she was found guilty on lying to the police. It's not enough to convict someone of murder because they were caught lying and are a bad mother. The jury did it's job. Not enough evidence. Anyway, this is a case that I wish people would just mind their own business and stop talking about it. I’m going to from now on. Most of us weren't there in the court room. We weren't in the jury room. Stop judging and just get over it. Mind your own business. I fear for those jury members, cause there are idiots out there that would harm them because of this. The jury was really in a no-win situation (because of the death penalty thing). No one is a winner in this whole thing, especially not little Caylee.

2) I wanted to keep these two tweets about it this topic for posterity. They are hilarious. I took off the twitter names and didn’t use the twitter format for those of you that don’t use twitter (I just started about 2 months ago… jury’s still out on if I like it or not)

“Don't worry, Casey Anthony lives in Florida so Dexter will eventually get her!”

In response to Kim Kardashian saying– “CASEY ANTHONY FOUND NOT GUILTY!!!! I am speechless!!!” Someone said “So was Nicole Brown Simpson's family when your dad got OJ off.”

So… to reiterate. Wait until someone asks for your opinion/help before you give it and be careful how you portray that “help” to them. Give them a chance to figure it out on their own. Most people will ask for help if they need it. If they don't ask for help, then the really wouldn't be in the right place to accept your help anyway. Try to mind your own business. I know it’s hard for some of us, but hey….it’s worth giving it a shot right?