Are You Satisfied?

Act 98:

“It’s never too late… To Be Content

It’s so easy to be seduced by expectations, to spend our lives searching… for better, bigger, more. When we often have just what we need. Think about the positives. Enjoy your family. Your health, your wonderful friends. Your blessings. Allow yourself contentment. And treat improvements as bonuses.” – Patrick Lindsay

Quote in book: “Content is happiness” ~ Proverb

In trying to get inspiration, I consulted The ORACLE… and all the websites that came up when I put in “be content” were spiritual related websites. Really? What’s up with that? I think that (for me) part of being content includes spirituality and GOD, but I don’t presume that that is the case for everyone. I’m so flabbergasted by this whole thing… so I’m just not gonna think about it.

Right now, surprisingly, I am content. Despite not being where I thought I would be at this point in my life. I am happy. I wrote a blog about letting yourself be happy and that blog was about coping with my father’s death after five months. Here it is two months later and my life is totally different and I really have allowed myself to be happy. To be content.

Let’s look at my life right now as opposed to where I thought I would be. There’s really only one thing in my life that I thought would be different than where I’m at now and that is that I thought I would be married and have a family or at least starting one. Today is the day after spending the day in san diego for my cuz’s baby shower. It made me think about where I thought my life would be. But I think about it and if I was already married and starting a family like my cuz, I don’t think that I would’ve been ready or in the right frame of mind. Yes, I probably would’ve had my wedding day fantasies of the stuff w/ my dad fulfilled, but I probably would’ve rushed into something that I wasn’t ready for.

I’m pretty sure that I wasn’t ready for marriage and a family until now. I was too selfish. Too independent. Too bitchy. Too unwilling to compromise. Too closed off. Unfortunately, going through the pain of losing my father has really changed me in a way that has made me ready to open my heart and give it to another person. I have been in relationships before, but I was always so closed off. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve dated and they’ve broken up w/ me or we’ve decided to no longer date because I was too independent or too closed off.

I’ve literally had someone say, “So, we haven’t seen or talked to each other in two weeks and it doesn’t seem like you care.” And they were right. I really didn’t. I think that you should want to be with the person your dating or in love with all the time (well maybe not all the time, but at least want to see or talk to them in a two week period.) When talking to my friends about their spouses, they can’t imagine their life w/out them. I’ve never really felt that intensely about someone. I’ve had briefly glimpses, but they’ve been few and far between and very fleeting.

I’ve been told that when it happens… it just happens. When you stopped looking or when you have finally accepted the fact that you may end up alone. When you are content and satisfied with life. That’s when life says.. uh uh honey.. congrats on accepting life how it is now… but I have more for you. I feel like that’s where I am right now.

I am satisfied with where my life is right now. Could I be happier? Of course, but considering everything I’ve been through in the last 7 months. I’m very surprised at how happy and content I am with my life. How about you?