Sometimes It’s Just Time…

Act 80:

“It’s never too late… To Let Go

To travel through life with lightness, we must unload the things which weighs us down, and hold us back. Lose the baggage. Regrets. Grudges. Hatreds. Jealousies. Vendettas. Turn them loose. Soar ahead.” – Patrick Lindsay

Quote in book: “All that is human must retrograde if it does not advance.” ~ Edward Gibbon

How do you know when to let go? I wrote a blog about cutting your losses. In that blog, I talked about cutting your losses w/ respect to friends and relationships. I’m gonna try to gear this one towards letting go of love or a relationship that’s not working. When you’re cutting your losses, it’s almost easier because they’ve hurt you in some sense… but the hardest thing is letting go of someone when you still love them. There aren’t a lot of people out there that are strong enough to actually do this, so most people will sabotage their relationships to give the other person a reason to cut their losses and end the relationship.

So, let’s talk about that. Why aren’t people strong enough to end a relationship that isn’t working and/or when they know it won’t work in the future?? I think it’s because none of us want to feel like failures. If you just walk away, it’s like giving up. However, I think it’s smart. You aren’t wasting anyone's time. You’re saving yourself more heart ache down the line. It’s self preservation. But it’s hard. Most of us like to believe that there’s still something there or that things will change, but it almost always ends and we end up getting more hurt than if we ended it early.

When is it the right time? How many differences are too much? How many of life’s big issues do you have to disagree on before enough is enough? That’s really only for you to decide. I’ve gotten these questions from at least two of my friends over the last couple of months. What’s important to me is not necessarily what’s important to you. So, the first thing you need to do is decide how important the issue is to you that you disagree on. The big ones for me are family, religion, and drugs. I plan to talk more about these issues in a later blog, so stand by…Figure out what’s important to you and don’t settle for anything. Have the courage to let go of a relationship if you know it won’t work.

The other thing I wanna talk about in terms of letting go is… what Mr. Lindsay talks about. Letting go of the baggage that haunts us, the things that hold us back, the regrets, the pain, the anger, the hate, the jealousy. I know it’s hard, because most of the times these things paralyze us. They paralyze us because we are embarrassed or ashamed or depressed or feel some emotion that isn’t happiness. This is why we need to just let it go. We should all be happy. Letting go of these things leads to happiness. One of the most recent, scariest, and most personal thing that I had to let go of was my dad.

Before he died, I had to let go of the fact that he was going to meet his grand kids or walk me down the aisle or dance w/ me at my wedding (or duet w/ me). When we found out he was dying, I was sitting on his bed at the hospice and I was tearing up and I hugged him, because I realized that he would not be around on what is supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life. He wouldn’t be able to walk me down the aisle at my wedding. Do you wanna know what he said? He said…”It’s ok. You may never get married.” At the time, I laughed and smiled. He hugged me and kissed me and then we started talking about something else. He effectively deflected me from crying at the time and for being all sappy. He allowed me to let go of that dream by making a joke.

Afterwards I thought about it, it his statement was kinda mean… but I know he didn’t mean it that way. At the time, I knew that. I know that now. He said the one thing that he knew wouldn’t make me cry at that moment. It’s true. I may never get married, so then I shouldn’t be sad about it or sad about the fact that he won’t be there to see it. I let go of that dream. That was the day I really let go of all the hopes and dreams I had about my dad being in my future. I let go of all the anger and the “it’s not fair” attitude, because that’s not what he needed from me at that moment or the ones to follow. He needed me to be strong and to not have regrets or sadness over something that I had no control over, which is something that is really hard for me, cause I’m such a control freak. He needed me to let go of it and to let him know that I would be ok with it. And I am. I know he’ll be there in spirit.

Let go of unrealistic dreams. Let go of things you can’t control. Let go of the past. Let go of bad thoughts. Let go of anger. Let go of the Hate. Let go or the jealousy. It doesn’t help to keep it all bottle up inside. If it’s something you’ve never told someone, don’t let it have power over you and tell someone. Let go of the pain. Let go of yesterday. Live for today. This goes hand in hand w/ my blog from yesterday and starting each day afresh. (btw – go read Whit’s comment to my blog from yesterday. It’s hilarious and I love her randomness!) Be happy. Be Free…