Take Responsibility For Your Actions

Act 115:

“It’s never too late… To Stop Blaming Others

It’s the easy way out. It brings us no credit. It gives others power over us. Ultimately we must take control of our own lives. Make our own decisions. Cop the blame. When we do, it liberates us. Take charge.” – Patrick Lindsay

Quote in book: “Chart your own course.” ~ Proverb

We all make mistakes and we need to own up to them. Just like we shouldn’t take credit for other people’s work… we shouldn’t blame people for our mistakes. When we blame others we think it lets us off the hook and we feel better about the situation and our mistakes, but in the long run it’s bad for us. It’s my observation that people who don’t take responsibility for their actions and recognize their mistakes end up repeating them. They end up making the same mistakes over and over and over again. Blaming others doesn’t let you learn from your mistakes. It doesn’t allow you to analyze what you did wrong and it doesn’t give you the opportunity to figure out how NOT to do it again.

This is something I’ve struggled with (I’m sure I’ll do it again in the future, but for the most part I understand it better now). I would constantly blame others for my mistakes or taking something the wrong way. When I get into fights with my friends/family, I would blame the other person for the fight and/or not understand my part in the fight or what I did to induce it (if I did start it) or keep it going. I know I’m quick tempered and when in a fight, a lot of times, I will say something very calm and even tempered. I thought that just because my volume was low that the tone and word choice I used didn’t matter. I know it’s usually mean and nasty. Then I’d blame the other person for misinterpreting what I would say and do, because I was calm in terms of volume, but not in terms of tone. I realize now that when I’m in that vindictive mean mode, the volume is not nearly as important as the actual words and tone.

The other thing I used to do a lot as a kid was lie and blame others for the things that I did. I remember this would get me double the punishment when I got caught. I would blame my brother or cousin or anyone else just to deflect the attention off of me. I could lie like the rest of them and assign blame to anyone else but myself.

Nowadays, I’m trying a lot harder to keep the blame for myself, so I can understand why I do the things I do. I’ve been so happy lately, because I feel like I’ve owned up to a lot of mistakes. I’m taking responsibility for the things I’ve done wrong and trying to rectify them. A big example of this is my brother and I. He and I fight constantly or used to. I used to always blame him for not listening or being mean. I never used to take responsibility for the things that I did to him to trigger that response. See, he always draws first blood (meaning he’s the one who blows up at me first) but I never really thought about why he blew up at me. Just the fact that he did.

He’s prob not gonna like me saying this. But he and I had a fight on our cruise. If we hadn’t talked about it when it happened, it could’ve made the rest of the cruise uncomfortable. I’m not gonna go into details, except to say that usually when we fight or argue… I always find ways to blame him for the fight, because he’s the one who blows up first. This time I realized that I said something (that he misconstrued), but it hurt him. I was trying to make a joke, but he took it as a snide comment. I realize now that his overreaction had to do with the words that I used. He would’ve taken it as a joke if I used different words and possibly my tone could’ve been mistaken for condescending and snide… instead of the joking, playful way that I meant it. Anyway, before I would’ve just said… he overreacted that’s his fault. I didn’t do anything wrong. He blew up at me. (he did take responsibility for his overreaction) This time I know that I was at least partly to blame because of the words and tone I used. Again, sorry bro. You know I love you. I’m glad we are able to work these kinds of things out now… =* *HUGS* Love you

When you are arguing with someone, stop blaming other people for your shit. Look at your actions and see what you could’ve done better. Very rarely is someone 100 percent to blame. Even if the other person is mostly to blame, there’s still probably something that you could’ve done differently or better. Figure it out and try to avoid doing it again when in the same situation. Take responsibility for your actions. Stop blaming other people. Learn from your mistakes. =)

Mini Trivia

10 Points: Name the famous duo that lip synced their way into our hearts in late 80s and early 90s and their hit song

10 Points: Name the Oscar Winner and give the title of his song about alcohol