Come On Confucius Hook Me Up…

Act 135:

“It’s never too late… To Share Wisdom

It’s rewarding. It brings benefits to both giver and receiver. Pass on hard-won experience. Especially where it can stop suffering or pain. Hand on knowledge generously. It will be repaid tenfold.” – Patrick Lindsay

Quote in book: “If you have, give. If you learn, teach” ~Maya Angelou

One of my friends put on her status “Got through yesterday without crying :) Three years and one day since my dad died and I'm finally at peace with it. Boom.” – My comment was “Aww. Maybe in three years I'll feel like that. It'll be 9 months since my dad on mon” On Monday, it will be the 9^th mensiversary of my father’s death. Today is the 9^th mensiversary of the day I got the phone call that he was being pulled off all the machines and going into hospice care. He was given 2 weeks. Today my friend’s grandma is in the hospital for congestive heart failure. She’s been given 1 month.

Again it’s really creepy how these Acts line up perfectly to what’s going on in my life at the time. I wish my friend MH could pass me on some of her wisdom to get through the next three years. I wanna be where she is, where I’m at peace with it. At the same time, today I’ve been offering some wisdom to my friend NG whose grandma is in the hospital. Sharing my thoughts and feelings for what I went through w/ my day EXACTLY 9 months ago. Sharing my experience and giving my support seems to be helping.

So I know I talked about letting go in another blog, but today especially I want to talk and share a little bit of my experience with acceptance. Acceptance of your loved one’s impending departure. When I got that phone call 9 months ago, my Dad had decided it was time to accept that the cancer had beaten him and he no longer wanted to suffer. He had had months to prepare for that day and was ready for it, but for those of us who were still holding on to that glimmer of hope it was a bit of a shock. However, my advice to those going through this is that. It’s not your decision. It’s there’s. As much as you want your loved one to live and/or fight. It’s not your fight. If they’ve accepted their fate, you’ve got to respect that and them and support them.

For me, the minute I saw my dad and the second he told me he was at peace with the decision, it was easy to accept it. He was ok with it. He was at peace. Why shouldn’t I be? He had loved and supported me my whole life. It was my turn to love and support him during this time. That all you can do. That’s all you should do. If you are having a hard time dealing with it, cry, scream, bitch, yell at someone else not at them. Call me… I’ll be your sounding board.

After a day like today, I couldn’t help but think about my dad and how it still hurts and saddens me knowing his life was cut way too short. But I’m encouraged to know that it gets a little easier. I’m encouraged to know that I’ll never forget, but that it doesn’t hurt as much... That there is a day that I will be able to think about his death and the time surrounding it without crying. I’m not there yet and it may not take 3 years… but some day.

This entire blogging adventure has been about me sharing my experiences… sharing my “wisdom” and/or insight into the different acts every day. I’m not sure I would call it “wisdom” but hey… it’s in the eye of the beholder. I don’t consider myself to be some great philosopher or “wise” person. All I can hope for is that by sharing my thoughts and experiences, I can help someone out there and that someone might be inspired or share their wisdom in a comment. I know most of you have shared your little bits of wisdom along with me and I thank you for it. You are the best. Thanks for coming along with me and enjoying the ride….only 37 more to go!