There's Only Now

There' only Now
There's Only Here
Give in To Love
Or Life in Fear
No Other Path
No Other Way
No Day But Today

Act 172:

“It’s never too late… To Live For Today

Only today is certain. We’re not guaranteed tomorrow. Plan for tomorrow. But live in the present.” – Patrick Lindsay

Quote in book: “No Time like the present.” ~ Proverb

I made it 172!! Not bad for someone who has never considered herself to be a writer nor have I ever really wanted to be one. Although I don’t really consider this writing…. It’s not fiction. It’s not really journaling (which I never did as a girl…I was too lazy) because I’m writing with the expectation that people are going to read it. It’s like a written documentary of my life every day while certain topics come up.

This is the blog to reminisce about the last 6 months. 6 months of blogging. 6 months of Acts that were supposed to change my life. 6 months of life changing events. 6 months full of new friends and new attitudes. For those that haven’t been paying attention. This blog started out because I read an entry by Erin Kelly where she (searching for inspiration herself) vowed to blog on each Act in the book It’s Never Too Late… 172 Simple Acts To Change You Life

So, let’s look at my plan from 6 months ago.

1. Blog about every act in the book It’s Never Too Late… 172 Simple Acts To Change Your Life. – CHECK! I was supposed to finish on 3 Nov, but I decided to take a 16 day vacation from blogging because I went on a European vacation. However, this is Act 172… so DONE baby. WHOO!
2. Stop Playing Farmville – CHECK! I’m pretty sure I did that within the first month
3. Pre-order Waking Madison – -CHECK! It’s a great movie. Go check it out.
4. Support Rock Rose Entertainment by doing one and/or all of the following: Donate $$ (just like I did for Face2Face Movie), go to an ICCE or Hitching Post Theater Event. –Not yet complete. I still haven’t decided how to do this one. I really wanna go to a Hitching Post Theater Event. But, I also wanna support one of the films coming out, but I wanna invest my money in the right one. Not just force it, just to get this one checked off. In other news, I met Erin during Kat’s Power Up Awards Ceremony.
5. Organize a UCI Merage Alumni Reunion. – Sadly Not yet complete – I still miss all of you, but I’ve been so busy and travelling like a crazy person, that I haven’t had the time. New Year’s Resolution??
6. Lose a total of 25 pounds this whole year – Disappointed I’m still not done w/ this one. I still have about 1/5 months left in the year, but it’s Holiday season, which means… EAT EAT EAT!!!
7. De-Clutter my apartment by scanning all the paper: - This is a long term goal, but I’ve started. It’ll probably take me at least a year to finish this, but I spent about 3 wknds doing this in the past 6 months. I know that doesn’t sound like I’d be able to get it done in a year, but if I focus on it. I think I really could do it.
8. Finish the GLEE DVD project I started before my dad died: Not completed – This is also going to be one of those things that I need to focus on to get accomplished. I’m about ½ way done.
9. Finish the key architecture by working w/ SE&I – SO ANNOYED this is not completed – but this one is out of my control. There are people who I’m working with who are making this difficult. I’ve done everything I can in this area. You’d think that we could get it done in 6 months, but it looks like that was too hard to do.
10. Find a special way to celebrate my bday this year – Again, not complete- but my bro and my mom and I found a great way to spend our vacation and honor my dad the best we could. We had an amazing time. If you’re interested in looking at what happened during the trip, I posted my emails from the trip.

All in all my percentage sucks. 3/10? It’s a little unfair, because some of those are long term goals. But admittedly, I lost sight of some of these in the 6 months. I still have a chance to complete them and bring that percentage to 9/10. That’s not bad. So, what was I doing in these past 6 months that has kept me from completing my plan? Well, I was out completing these Acts.

Let’s do an awards type assessment of the Acts.

• Favorite Act: Have A Happy Childhood - it was so nice reminisce about my childhood. The trivia in this one is the best
• Least Favorite Act: Walk The Kokoda Track – I know WD tried to help me understand this one, but I had the hardest time trying to figure this one out.
• Most Unlike Original Intent Act: Run A Marathon – I totally cheated by talking about a Glee-A-Thon instead of actually running a marathon, cause I’ll never complete an actual marathon.
• Longest Act: Take A Trip – Because of all the pictures that was a really long entry.
• Shortest Act: Find Your True Talent - I didn't really have much to say on this one.
• Most Life Changing Act: Plant A Tree – This was the most life changing, because I actually feel like we accomplished something. We raised over $3000 and that’s over 3000 trees! -
• Most Different Act: Enjoy The Rain – This one I did using links to You Tube videos of songs. It took forever, but I ended up being happy w/ it.
• Best Titled Act: Share Wisdom - Come On Confucius Hook Me Up
• Most Clever Trivia Act: Help Someone – I did trivia on just one song.
• Most Political Act: Take A Stand – I bitched about Gay Rights. I still feel very strongly about this issue!
• Best Advice Act: Cut Your Loses – I feel like this was the best advice I gave in one of the blogs over the last 6 months.

In retrospect, it’s been a crazy 6 months. My life has completely changed.

I have expanded my group of friends to include the Face2Face family and the Kat Pack. I’m friends with Kat Brooks and am involved with her last and next movie. How awesome is that?

I’ve changed my attitude towards life. I know a lot of this has got to do w/ my father’s death which was 4 months before I started this blog, but I was practically numb for the first 4 months after his death. It was only after started this blogging adventure that I really started noticing the change.

I removed all the negative influences in my life. I’m so much happier. All the energy suckers in my life are no more. It’s not that I don’t talk to them anymore, it’s just that I’ve limited my interaction with them and I’ve limited my outings w/ them as well

I’ve been hesitant to mention this next thing, but the other biggest change in my life is that I’m dating someone. It’s pretty serious (even only after 4 months) I’ve been very quiet about talking about this in the blog series, because I know that this blog series is something that I may want to turn into a book someday and that I will keep forever. I didn’t want to taint that by talking about a relationship that I was unsure if it would become anything. But I’m confident enough to say that I think it will last. If it doesn’t, I’m willing to take that chance by mentioning it now. For many of my friends, don’t be surprised or upset that I didn’t tell you. I’ve been keeping it quiet from everyone except my immediate family and a very select few. I usually don’t talk about my relationships before the 6 month mark. But everything about this relationship is different. It’s long distance, but I’ve never been closer to anyone in my life. I’m super happy and it has everything to do with this relationship. Shout out to you, babe. You know how I feel about you. :*

Over the last 6 months, I’ve learned a lot about myself and about some of you who comment and read these. In the course of writing about these 172 Simple Acts, my life has definitely changed. I will be forever changed by doing this blog series and I hope that you have been, too (even if it was just a little bit. Finally, I’d like to say THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for all. There’s too many to name, so yes… I’m gonna us a blanket statement!! Thank you to all of the people who have helped me plant a forest, given me ideas, helped me w/ titles, and most importantly read these blogs. Thank you for making me feel like someone cares about what I have to say. You have no idea how much this means to me. I love you all… Family and Friends.

Here’s your last trivia of the series….

10 Points: Name the Musical and the Song of the lyrics referenced in the title and in the beginning of the blog.

Done. Finito.

Act 171:

“It’s never too late… To Finish It

No matter how long. No matter how hard. Come back to it. Look at it anew. Seek help. If it needs finishing, do it. Feel the release. Move on.” – Patrick Lindsay

Quote in book: “The end crowns the work.” ~ Proverb

When I first saw this Act, I had the end of a Mortal Kombat battle in my head saying. “Finish Him”. Haha. For anyone that gets that, you are AWESOME!.

Now that this blog series is ending, I know I was super happy about it, but now I’m a little sad. Maybe that’s the sentimental part of me that’s talking. I really won’t miss the feeling of “having” to blog, but I will miss that daily interaction w/ all of you. I’ll miss the excitement about figuring out what to say about each act. I’ll miss trying to think of interesting titles for my blogs to clue everyone in on what I’m gonna talk about w/out actually saying the words in the title. Bex – you got really good at figuring out what the Act was after the title. Thanks for all your help there.

I almost wish this was tomorrow’s Act, because then I can talk about all the things I’ve learned from this blogging series, but I’ll save that for tomorrow. For today, I’ll say this. This is my second to last Act in this blog series and I’m ready to be done. I’m ready to move on to the next exciting thing in my life. The next blog series. I still haven’t decided if and what I’m going to do after this is over. I know some of you will miss my daily rantings (esp. WD and JEM), but I’ll find a way to interact w/ you all again soon.

Once you finish something, it’s always a good time to start something else. I never like to go too long w/out a project. I think that maybe I could use some ideas. I’ve wanted to finish the musical website, where I review the plays and musicals. I’ve seen over 100 of them. My plan is to erect a website that reviews musicals and plays that I’ve seen to help out those of you that haven’t seen stuff or want to see something and you can gauge whether its’ right for you or not. Now, I had started reviewing stuff awhile ago, but I stopped because I got really busy with school. Luckily, I kept all the ticket stubs and have all the playbills of the ones I’ve seen in the recent years. I’m not sure anyone would be interested in this site, but I know I as a theater goer, I’d love it. Plus, it’s really for me in the guise that it’s for other people… haha.

Other ideas include:

· Doing another blog series on Patrick Lindsay’s other book Now Is the Time: 170 Ways to Seize the Moment. I’d have to read through it, but I’m not quite sure I’m ready to commit to another 6 month blog series at this point. – plus just by looking at the B&N description it looks very similar to this blog series. I would get bored really fast.

· Doing a workout blog. Resetting my goal of losing weight and actually forcing myself to d it, but blogging about it. I have a friend who does this and I think it’s super annoying, so that thought went quickly out the door.

· Maybe not doing a series, but start journaling my life. I’ve never written a journal (although the last 6 months is the exception) Maybe commit to writing once a week to catch everyone up on what’s going on in my life? It’s not once a day, but at least it’s not stopping all together.

Regardless of what I do next, I know that it was like dragging my feet to get these last few Acts done, I am gonna miss writing these entries every night. I’m glad I will complete my goal and that my sense of accomplishment is met, but everything in life has a beginning and an end…. And quite frankly, it’s time. I know I’ll look back on these days with the same awe and wonderment of “how the hell did I do that?”, just as I did after the completion of B-school.

I’m gonna complete this Act by going back to answer all the Trivia questions. I was going to try to finish that all tonight, but I had a little too much wine tonight and I passed out the minute I ate my sushi from the store after I got home. The next thing I know it’s 1:30am. Ooops. I do plan to finish doing that. I think it makes sense to do it after this is all done. Maybe I’ll make that Sunday’s activity while I’m watching football. I will finish it, maybe not when I would like…. I promise I will go back and finish that. =)

What If...

My dad was still alive? It’s been 10 months, since his death. It’s interesting that this landed on this day.

Act 170:

“It’s never too late… To Wonder

Look with innocence. Drink with your eyes. See the mystery in nature. In people. Ponder it.” – Patrick Lindsay

Quote in book: “There are many wonderful things and nothing is more wonderful than man.” ~ Sophocles

Growing up, I was so happy. I never had to wonder about my parent’s love or support. I never had to wonder what it was like to have parents that weren’t together. My parents were always so happy and so in love, but not in a “gross.. my parents are making out” sort of way. They weren’t perfect, because they did fight (as all couples do), but they were happy and they loved each other. It was wonderful.

Over the last 10 months, I’ve had to wonder about what my life is going to be like w/out my father. What is my wedding going to be like? Who’s gonna walk me down the aisle? (I figured that out.. my bro). Are am I still gonna have the part of the wedding reception where there’s a father daughter dance? What am I going to tell my kids about their grandfather? Anything I tell them won’t do him justice.

I was so happy and naïve that it never crossed my mind as to what I would do w/out my father. I always thought he would be around. To see his grandkids. To see me get married. To see me truly happy. With the holidays coming back around, it’s made me think about how much I miss him, even 10 months later. It’s the first time I didn’t mention it to my mom or txt my bro about it being 10 months. It made me think about how the last Xmas we had with him was in the hospital. How he’s not going to be around to carve the turkey or decorate the tree or set up the little toy train he loved that no one else in my family did. Who’s gonna put up those Christmas bells or make lame jokes about “supplies”? Who’s gonna kill the spider for me then shove it in my face to scare me with it? Who’s gonna help me hang up my pictures or sneak money to me when my mom’s not looking? Who’s gonna steal my chicken skin that I’ve saved for the end of the meal that sits at the edge of my plate? Who’s gonna talk to me and teach me about music? Who’s gonna talk to me about sports? Who’s gonna help me root for the Packers and debate w/ me whether or not they are gonna have an undefeated season and repeat as Super Bowl Champions? Who’s gonna complain with my about the stupid NBA lockout?

I know this Act is supposed to be able the wondrous things around us. Like nature (waterfalls, constellations, volcanoes) and man made buildings (like the Statue of Liberty, the pyramids or the Hoover Dam), but I can’t help but think about my dad on this day and wonder what my life would be like if he were still alive. These blogs have been as much about helping me get over his death as much as they have been about making myself happy, opening up my horizons, and doing things to change my life. So, I’m always gonna wonder…

What would he have thought about this blogging series? What kinds of random things would he have commented? Would he be proud of me? Would he be happy for me? Would I still be a complete bitch? Would I have changed? Why is it he never got to see this change in me that he is completely and totally responsible for? It’s not fair… I know life isn’t fair and we all wonder why it isn’t. He was the best person I know and a wonderful, loving husband, brother, son, friend, coworker and father. I wonder if he’s looking down on me and is proud of me and my bro. I wonder sometimes when I get the rock star parking if he had a hand in that. But the one thing I never had to worry about is the fact that I knew that he loved me and that he knew I loved him. I thank God for that and for the time that we had together. I love you Dad.

Trivia

10 Points each: Name the 7 Natural Wonders Of The World

10 Points each: Name the 7 Man Made Wonders Of The World as you know it. There’s so many different answers. I’m curious.

10 Points: Name the 7 dwarfs in Snow White (random: yes… but this is for u Bex!)